I love Jacqueline Wilson. When I was younger, my dad would read me her books and then I would read them at school. I was the kid, sat in the corner reading The Illustrated Mum or Best Friends or The Suitcase Kid. What I love about her books is the fact that you see so much more in the stories as you grow up and see how emotionally deep rooted they are.
Tracy beaker is an obvious character to look at and the authors most famous character. She was about 9ish when the tv series started. I loved the 3 books, the movie and the tv series that followed her. She was full of anger and emotion and her needs constantly were not met (until Cam) but she was funny and caring too.
Other of my favourite characters were Andy (suitcase kid), floss(candyfloss), Bisuits Gemma and Alice (Best Friends).
I still have a whole lot of J.Wilson books that I will cherish forever:
An obvious author is Roald Dahl. He is probably one of the best childrens authors of all time. His books are fun and exciting and have strong underlying themes that anyone can relate to. My dad used to read them to me all the time before bed and put on silly voices. Here is a list of his books that I have:
For someone like me who struggles with self concept, emotional stability and external issues, I find that the world becomes this giant battle. I have tried so very hard to fit in and be “perfect” but every few months or so everything gets on top of me. I try to push everything out and deal with them in the best way I can so that they don’t consume me but you know what, sometimes giving in is the only way to overcome some issues. It takes a strong person to admit that things are not okay.
Although I have remained self harm free for 3 months, I sometimes wonder if giving in will help. I know in my head that it isn’t and I fight the temptation to do so but I think sometimes the break from being strong is much needed.
Sometimes I struggle to allow myself to cry or get angry. Sometimes I genuinely do not realise that those are the emotions I am experiencing and for the past 6 years, self harm has been my way of vocalising/ expressing my inner anguish.
Self harm has controlled my life and last year it got so severe that I could not control it anymore. I cannot afford another summer like the last as now I have been diagnosed with Epilepsy and I have exams and the possibility of University. Cutting would throw that all away.
At the moment, I am just too scared that I will end back in that situation because A2 is just so hard, on top of college, I am leaving CAMHS and my mum is having a relapse with her mental health.
Sometimes you just want to crumble because sometimes that is easier.
I sometimes fear that really I am always feeling shit and that the rest of the time Iam just shoving all my emotions deep down and not accepting them.